


If I Fall For You, Would You Fall Too?

by amory



Series: If I Fall For You, Would You Fall Too? [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Childhood, Friends to Lovers, M/M, References to Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 18:37:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/801887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amory/pseuds/amory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is 8 when 6 year old Harry moves in across the street and they decide to become best friends</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Fall For You, Would You Fall Too?

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr: amoryfics.tumblr.com

“Do you think they’ll have kids my age?”

Jay smiles down at her son. He sits, pressed up against the window, his nose resembling that of a pig, watching on curiously as men move a couch in to the home across the street. “I don’t know Louis. I haven’t spoken to them yet.”

The boy sighs exaggeratedly. “Well then I’ll have to.” Louis says in that matter of fact tone he’s taken on lately. His mother has to stifle a laugh. Louis has been doing his best to act like a man lately since he’s decided turning 8 means he’s “a proper grown up”. He’s gone so far as to give all his toys to his friend Zayn, only to demand he get them back after watching the other boy play with them for about five minutes.

Louis fixes his striped t-shirt, pulling it farther down over his little tummy, before striding towards the door. “Boobear, invite them over for tea would you?” His mother calls after him

“Only if I like them. And don’t call me Boobear.” He replies, but none of that’s true. Louis may want to be a grown up, but as long as his mummy still makes his bed, he does whatever she says. Louis loves his mother more than anything, and even if the other boys make fun of him for it, he secretly loves it when she gives him jobs to do and calls him “her little Boobear”.

Louis walks across the garden, making sure to look both ways before he crosses the street. He’s only recently been allowed to cross it by himself, but he knows his mother is probably still watching from the window. She’s a little overprotective sometimes but Louis knows its only because she loves him.

He steps around the moving van slowly, watching the moving men work. Standing on tip toe, he peers into the truck and grins. There’s a blue racing car bed in there, just like the one he has. With new found excitement, Louis runs for the doorstep.

The door is wide open and he can see straight into the house which looks the same as his, only much emptier with tons of boxes. A moving man moves past him, carrying a lamp and practically knocking the young boy to the side.

“Who are you?”

Louis swings around, looking for the source of the small voice. He finds it in a boy a bit younger than him, standing on the grass, clutching a blanket to his chest. He’s small, with green eyes that are too big for his face and curls that stick up at odd angles as if he’s been pulling on it. Sidestepping another moving man, Louis walks back down the steps.

“Hello, I’m Louis Tomlinson, I’m 8 years old.” Louis sticks his hand out for the younger boy to shake. When he doesn’t, Louis pulls his hand back and waits.

The boy sniffles, holding his blanket tighter. “I-I’m Harry. I’m 6, my birthday was in February.” Harry still has that baby way of speaking, where his r’s tend to sound more like w’s.

“You’re a baby.” Louis tells him.

Harry’s eyes grow even wider. “M’not a baby.” He says softly.

Louis tips forward,inspecting the boy. “You’re crying though and you’re smaller than me. You seem like a baby.”

Harry frowns. “M’not a baby though,” He says again, but this time he sounds more sure of himself. “You’re only a little bit taller than me anyway, so maybe you’re the baby.”

Louis decides he likes Harry. If it were Zayn or Liam in his place, the boys would be angry by now, pulling on Louis’ fringe or calling their mothers. Instead, the little boy stands up a bit straighter and gives Louis a look that practically challenges him to say something else. He’s brave and Louis likes that.

“I like your race car bed, I have one like that too ‘cept it’s red.” Louis says, finally.

Harry smiles, revealing two little dimples that made him look even more like a baby, Louis thinks. “I like your shoes, I saw them light up. Mummy promised to get me some like that when my feet grow.” He wiggles his toes in the grass and Louis smiles.

“Wanna be my friend?”

Harry seems to think for a moment. “I guess so, yeah. I’ve never really had a friend before.”

Louis shrugs and throws an arm over Harry’s shoulder. “Well that’s okay, I’ll be your first friend, Curly.” He tugs gently on one of the boys curls and grins when it gets a giggle out of Harry.

Harry leads Louis into his new house, still clutching his blanket with one hand while the other is now intertwined with Louis’. They go like this to the kitchen where they find Harry’s mother unpacking a box of dishes. She turns and jumps a bit in surprise when she sees the two of them together.

“Oh! Harry, who’s this?”

Louis detaches himself from the other boy and holds his hand out. “I am Louis Tomlinson, I’m 8 years old and I live across the street. My mummy told me to invite you over for tea.”

Harry’s mother laughs and puts down the dishes she’s carrying to shake Louis’ outstretched hand. “Well hello Louis. I’m Harry’s mum but you can call me Anne. I’m afraid I’m a bit busy now, but let your mother know I’ll gladly come over for tea tomorrow, if she’ll have us.”

“But I want tea at Louis’ now!” Harry protests.

Louis looks over at him and frowns. “You can come over. As long as your mum says its all right.” He decides. Louis likes to be in charge and make decisions.

Anne frowns. “Harry, you shouldn’t invite yourself over!” She scolds, but her frown slowly dissipates. “You can go, but behave yourself, do you hear me? And put some shoes on.”

Harry nods, curls bouncing. Before Louis can even say goodbye, Harry is grabbing his hand and tugging him through the nearly empty house, pausing to slip on a pair of little flip flops. Louis makes them stop to look both ways, because he’s the older one, but he lets Harry drag him across the street and towards Louis’ house. He still has the blanket tucked up close to his chin, but Harry doesn’t see nearly as sad as he did only a few minutes ago. Louis decides he quite likes the dimples on Harry’s cheeks and wants to keep them there.

“Mum!” Louis shouts as soon as he walks in the door. “I’ve made a friend and his name is Harry, he is 6 years old and he has a mother called Anne.” He looks around until he spots his mother sitting in their living room reading a book.

Jay looks towards the door, smiling brightly. “Hello Harry, dear.” She says.

Harry blushes. “H-hi.” He says softly. “M-mummy said she could come over tomorrow for tea, if you would h-have us?” Harry’s little voice is shaky and unsure and Louis feels warmth grow in his chest as he watches on. He ignores it, this weird feeling, and instead just grabs Harry’s hand. He should be afraid of Louis’ mother, especially if they’re going to be friends.

“Of course, tell your mother around noon would be wonderful.”

“Can Harry stay for a little bit?” Louis asks. “I want to show him my room and have tea with him, even if he is a baby.”

Harry frowns. “M’not a baby.” He repeats.

Jay smiles. She knows how overbearing Louis can be, she almost feels bad for the timid boy. “Of course he can.” Louis waits for no other invitation, nodding towards the stairs and showing Harry up to his room.

He and Harry play with Louis’ Power Rangers dolls and Louis even lets Harry be the red one, which is his favorite. He never lets anyone else be the red one. Then they decide to be astronauts, and after that Louis is a pirate and Harry is his prisoner who has to walk the plank. They’re in the middle of being Peter Pan and a lost boy when Jay calls up to tell them their tea is ready. Louis sits at the table and watches as Harry pours spoonful after spoonful of sugar in his, informing the younger boy he’s disgusting. But still, Harry just smiles back and tells Louis his feet stink.

Louis really likes Harry.

It’s starting to get dark outside when Jay tells Louis he should walk Harry home. So, they hold hands and Harry grabs his blanket and they head outside.

“Louis, will you be my always friend?” Harry asks as they walk down the steps.

Louis frowns. “You mean will I always be your friend?” He turns to see Harry blushing in the dark. The boy nods, biting at his lip. “Of course I’ll always be your friend, Harry.” And to Louis there’s nothing strange about this. He’s just met the boy but his 8 year old mentality tells him anyone he lets be the red power ranger will obviously be his friend forever.

“My Daddy left after he promised not to.” Harry whispers. “That’s why we moved away, ‘cept I’m not supposed to know that.” He ducks his head, curls falling forward to cover his green eyes. He reaches forward and bites down softly on the edge on the blanket. Louis sits down on the steps of Harry’s house, motioning for the boy to sit down as well.

“My Dad left too, a few years ago. My mum says he’s in heaven now.” Louis whispers.

Harry squeezes his fingers. He looks up finally, hope showing in his green eyes. “Promise you won’t leave?”

Louis nods. “I promise. Friends forever.”

 

_Louis is 10 and Harry is 8._

They’re having a sleep over at Harry’s house which has become a regular occurrence now that Jay has been picking up night shifts at work. Louis doesn’t mind though, he loves Anne, and he likes to be with Harry. He’s always sure to make his Mum a sandwich before she goes to work though, because he’s the man of the house now and he has to take care of her.

Harry and Louis are in Harry’s room playing with army men when it happens. Harry reaches forward in a fit of frustration and knocks all over Louis’ army men over with one sweep of his little arm. Louis looks at him in disbelief, before throwing the army man in his hand down on the carpet and standing up.

“Harry, you’re so stupid!” He shouts down at the younger boy. “Why would you do that!”

Harry looks up at him and Louis knows he’ll never forget the way his green eyes widen in fear and he cowers down, his little hands covering his face. “I’m sorry Louis, I’m so sorry please don’t hit me. I’m sorry.”

Louis stares at him for a moment in disbelief. The younger boy scoots across the floor until he’s up against the wall, still cowering in fear. Louis drops to his knees and crawls over. Harry’s whimpering quietly as Louis reaches out for him.

“C-curly?” He whispers. Harry pulls his hands away from his face and Louis gasps when he sees tears there. “Harry, I’m sorry. I was just mad. I wouldn’t hit you. I would never hurt you, Hazza.”

Harry sniffles, but puts his hands down all the way. “Y-you’re not gonna hit me?” He asks softly.

Louis shakes his head. “No! No, I won’t hit you Harry!”

“B-but you were angry and yelling and y-you called me stupid.” Harry whispers. “Daddy always did that to Mummy and then h-he’d hit her.”

Louis’ eyes grow so wide Harry’s a little worried his eyeballs might pop out. He reaches forward carefully, before wrapping his arms completely around his friend. “I’m so sorry Harry. You aren’t stupid. I would never, ever hit you like that.”

Harry wraps his arms around Louis as well, sniffling and wiping his nose on Louis’ shirt. “That’s why Mum and I moved. Daddy left so Mum decided we should leave too. I didn’t like that he did that to her, she’s not stupid, she never deserved to get hit.”

Louis agrees. He can’t imagine what would happen if anyone tried to hurt his mum, or Anne, or his Harry. He decides he’d probably have to turn into an army man if that happened, just so he can protect them all.

“Who knows, Harry?” He asks softly.

Harry shrugs. “You, and maybe Jay. I don’t wanna tell anyone, I know my mum doesn’t want to either. You’re the only one I ever told.”

Louis reaches up and cups Harry’s face in his hands. He looks deep into the other boys eyes so he knows just how serious Louis’s being. “I won’t ever let anyone hurt you, okay? I promise.”

Harry nods. “I love you Louis. You’re the bestest best friend anyone has ever had.”

“I love you too. Even if bestest isn’t a word.” Louis looks at Harry thoughtfully for a moment, before kissing the boy on his forehead. “C’mon, we can set my toys back up and I might let you win this time.”

Harry wipes the last of his tears away, and nods. He lets Louis hold his hand the rest of the day and decides that he really does love his best friend.

 

_Louis is 13 and Harry is 11._

They’re playing FIFA at Zayn’s house, like they normally do on weekends. Liam is perched on the corner of the couch next to Zayn while Niall rests inbetween Zayn’s legs on the floor, and Harry and Louis practically on top of each other. They’ve all grown used to Harry and Louis being inseparable by now, it’s been five years since they first met outside Harry’s home and they’ve hardly spent a day of that time apart. When Harry was 9, Niall transfered from Ireland and their small group grew from 4 to 5, yet Harry and Louis still had something the others different.

“M’tired.” Harry complains. He tilts his head up, which is resting against Louis chest, and smiles.

Louis frowns. “Oh, my poor Hazza.” He jokes. But he puts his controller down anyway so he can scratch at the boys curls. Louis likes to take care of people, ever since his Dad died he’s been taking care of his Mum. Harry walking into his life just gave him one more person to care for.

Harry grins, letting his eyes drift closed. Louis tries to keep his breathing even as he stares down at his best friend. He’s noticed lately that he seems to stare at Harry a lot more than normal. He also finds himself much more attracted to Leonardo DiCaprio while the other boys focused on Kate Winslet. Louis knows whats going on with himself, but he can’t admit it because he’s scared. He’s scared what his mother will say, he’s scared what the boys will think, he’s even more scared what Harry will think. Will he think Louis’s disgusting? Will he not want to be best friends anymore, or cuddle, or hang out or-

“Boobear, what’s wrong?” Harry’s concerned whisper breaks through the noise in his head. He looks down and sees his hands still carding through the boys curls but they’re shaking now. Harry sits up a bit, frowning. “Louis?”

Louis breathes out slowly, before shaking his head. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine, Haz.” He grins back, before grabbing his controller. “C’mon, let’s play. We can’t let Niall and Zayn win again.”

Harry obviously isn’t okay with this but he doesn’t push the subject. If there’s one thing he’s learned about Louis is that eventually he’ll tell Harry everything, he always does…or at least Harry hopes he does.

Their team of Harry, Liam, and Louis beats Zayn and Niall finally. It’s one in the morning and Zayn’s mother is telling them all it’s time for bed, so they turn off the games and drag out their sleeping bags. They end up situated as they normally do, Niall between Zayn and Liam, Harry next to Zayn, and finally Louis curled as close as possible to his best friend.

“Niall what did you eat!” Zayn exclaims only a few moments later.

Niall giggles softly. “Pizza, just like the rest of you. My digestive system is wonky, you know it isn’t my fault-”

“Ugh, Niall!” Louis shouts, covering his nose. Harry chuckles and reaches for the older boy instantly. Louis scoots over until his nose is pressed to Harry’s curls. He closes his eyes, listening as the others fight, while he breathes in the scent of the cologne Louis bought Harry for his birthday and the fruity shampoo he insists on using, even if it is meant for girls. Soon, the rest of them fall silent and all thats left is Louis’ breathing.

“Hey Harry?” He whispers.

Harry shifts a bit, pulling his head back. His eyes shine out in the dark, the moonlight from the window spilling over his porcelain skin. Louis feels as though his heart is in his throat and decides that this isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that Harry Styles gets to be so beautiful, and so funny, and so sweet. Someone up there had it out for Louis when they sent this angel of a boy into his life.

“What is it, Lou?” Harry intertwines their fingers which would usually help, but not this time. This time, it only makes Louis’ heart beat faster.

He closes his eyes. “If…if something was wrong with me, you’d still love me right?”

Harry tightens his grip. “I could never stop loving you, you’re my best friend.”  _And that’s the problem_ , Louis thinks to himself.

“Even if it was something really bad?” Louis whispers.

“Louis, you’re scaring me-”

“Harry, I’m…I’m gay.” Louis whispers. He waits for Harry to recoil, disgusted, for him to wake the other boys to have a laugh at him. He definitely doesn’t expect another small squeeze of his hand.

“That’s alright, Louis,” Harry whispers back. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You know, Mum says we should love whoever we want as long as it makes us happy.”

Louis opens his eyes and sees Harry smiling at him. He feels the sobs coming before they do and apparently so does Harry, because soon he’s wrapped up in long wiry arms with his face pressed into the crook of Harry’s neck. Harry rocks the both of them back and forth as best he can, making quiet soothing noises and kissing the top of Louis’ head a few times. And Louis isn’t sure why he’s crying exactly, but he knows that he likes being in Harry’s arms like this.

“You’re always gonna be my best friend, you know that?” Harry whispers, and somehow his lips are close to Louis’ ear now. “Always. Nothing could ever change that. I love you, Lou.”

Louis nods. “I love you too, Harry.”

“We can tell the boys and your mum tomorrow if you won’t, or wait if you want or…just…I’ll be there if you need me to be, alright?” For once, Harry seems like the older one, the one with it all planned out.

Louis laughs but it comes out along with a sob. “Hazza, you’re perfect. You know that? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Harry scoffs. “’Course I’m perfect. Thats why I’m your best friend.” Louis grins and hits him softly, but doesn’t move from the boy’s arms.

Harry’s holding his hand the next day when Louis tells the boys and they respond with hugs and a “I knew it, mate, I’ve seen ya starin at my ass before” from Niall.

Harry holds his hand even tighter when they sit down at the table across from Jay and Louis tells her as well. It ends with Jay practically throwing herself at her son, crying and exclaiming how proud she is. And through it all, Harry never lets go, and that smile never once leaves his face.

 

_Louis is 16 and Harry is 14._

Harry has become somewhat of a heartthrob by now, with those curls and that dimpled grin attracting practically every girl within a ten mile radius. Not that Louis’s jealous, he isn’t, he just doesn’t understand why Harry refuses offers from all the girls in favor of hanging around with Louis. But whenever he brings it up, Harry tells him not to be stupid, they’re best friends, after all, and that’s what best friends do.

Louis isn’t quite as popular as Harry, in fact ever since he kissed another boy at a party about a month or so ago no one’s stopped teasing him. He doesn’t really mind all that much though. Louis is content with the boys and the friends he’s made through doing plays and musicals at school. He really doesn’t care what everyone else says about him.

Zayn and Louis are in chemistry together when it happens. Zayn is pouring some sort of acid into a tube carefully, and shaking his head. “I dunno mate, I mean it kinda seems impossible to get any of this right. Why do I even need chemistry? I’m going to be a famous singer, I don’t need to know what hydrochloric acid does.”

Louis smiles. “Right, of course. Zayn Malik’s got The X-Factor.” He jokes. Zayn and Niall have recently decided they’re going to start a band, but really all that’s happened has been a lot of melodramatic lyrics about Zayn’s girl of the week and Niall fumbling through guitar chords he’s trying to learn. Liam and Harry tell them they sound good, while Louis teases them relentlessly about it.

Zayn narrows his dark brown eyes. “I do have the X-Factor. And you’re going to be a famous actor in Hollywood, the other boys can just bum around with us.”

Louis is about to point out that Liam has his heart set on being some sort of scientist, when said boy comes bursting through the door. The teacher looks up in shock. Liam is the epitome of goody good, any sort of disruption from his is surprising.

“Mr. Payne, what on earth-”

“Louis!” Liam’s panting hard, eyes searching the room until they land on Louis and Zayn in the back of the room. “Louis, it’s Harry.”

Louis almost drops the beaker in his hand. He doesn’t need to hear anything else, something is wrong with Harry and he’ll be damned if he’s going to sit here and waste more time. He shoves to beaker towards Zayn and goes running, past the teacher who’s yelling at his back, past Liam who tells him to turn left, all the way down the hall until he sees it. A group of students are huddled in the hallway, all shouting and cheering. Louis pushes through the crowd until he reaches the center where, to his horror, he sees Harry throwing a fist at another boy, while Niall tries to tug him off.

“Harry!” Louis shouts.

Harry stills instantly, whipping his head around until he meets Louis’ blue eyes that the younger boy swears he could pick out from a crowd. “Lou-” That’s all he gets out before a fist is swung into his face. He hears Louis gasp in horror, and feels Niall pulling him away before he can get another punch in at the other guy. His back is pressed up against a row of lockers and he groans in pain.

“Harry, what the hell?”

Still groaning, Harry opens his eyes, only to meet his favorite crystal blue ones. He smiles. “Hey, Lou.”

“Don’t you ‘Hey, Lou’ me Harry Styles! What was that?” Louis’ angry with him, which was not what he wanted at all. His lower lip quivers and he feels incredibly childish, like the 6 year old Louis first met crying in his yard, clutching his favorite blankie. The lines on Louis’ forehead soften when he sees Harry start to cry. “Hazza, oh god, you could have been killed! That’s Nathanial Bates, he’s on the wrestling team. He’s twice your size!”

Harry shakes his head. When he speaks he starts to stutter a bit, just like he always does when he’s upset. He hates that. “He-He called you names. He said you were-were a fa-faggot and a slut and I-I couldn’t just let him s-say that about you.” He cries, his chest heaving with sobs.

Louis may not care about what others say about him, but Harry apparently does. He stares at Hary for a moment in complete disbelief. Harry got in a fight for him. He has these horrible bruises all over his face, his lip is split open and he’s clutching at his chest, all because some homophobic asshole said something bad about Louis. And he feels like he might start to cry when Harry looks at him shakily and asks; “A-are you m-mad at me, Louis?”

“You idiot. You absolute fucking idiot.” Louis exhales. He surges forward and pulls Harry’s crying form to his chest. He wants to hold the boy there forever and protect him, never let anyone touch his curly haired Hazza ever again. He’s too innocent to be beat up like that.

“I could never be mad at you, not for that. I can’t believe you did that Harry, god.” Louis looks up at the ceiling, shaking his head and willing himself not to cry. He can’t cry, not when Harry is hurt like this.

“’Course I did it. Love you, remember?”

Louis smiles, looking back down and pushing Harry’s fringe from his eyes. “I love you too.” And he means it so much more than that. Louis doesn’t see Harry as just a friend anymore, he doesn’t think he ever really did. He sees him as this beautiful creature he wants to hold and protect and love and kiss and be with as so much more than a best friend. But Harry doesn’t feel that way, and Louis is okay with that, he’s accepted it by now. So, he sits in the hallway and comforts his best friend until the nurse has to practically pry them apart.

 

_Louis is 17 and Harry is 15._

Louis has a boyfriend now, Aiden Grimshaw. They’ve been together a few months and Louis thinks he likes him well enough. He’s Louis’ first boyfriend, first kiss, first time, and he really is perfect. Of course, there are a few lingering problems, like the fact that his eyes are nowhere near green, his hair isn’t curly, he doesn’t have soft cherry red lips or dimples. But besides just not being Harry, Louis likes Aiden, the boys like Aiden, his mother likes Aiden. Louis’ doing well in school, he’s the star of practically every school show now, he has a job on the weekends with Liam working at a Tescos. He spends every weekend with his boyfriend and his friends, partying or just hanging around at home. He still makes sure to take care of his mother, even if he’s gotten over his “man of the house” mentality. Everything is going great for Louis.

Until it isn’t.

It’s a week or so before Christmas, before Louis’ 18th birthday, when he sees the telltale flashing of lights across the street. Louis and Harry made the signal up years ago, years before they got cell phones and could easily just text when they needed one another, yet they still keep up the tradition. Louis grabs his coat and bounds down the stairs. It’s late, around midnight, and Louis’ mom is sleeping. He hardly realizes he’s stopped looking both ways before crossing the street now.

Louis slips into Harry’s house easily, using the key he’s had for almost a decade now, and climbs quietly up the stairs. It’s not like Anne would be angry to find him there, but Louis doubts she’d be too happy to be woken up by someone walking around their home in the middle of the night. He knocks softly on Harry’s door, freezing when he hears sniffling inside.

“Harry, love? It’s me.” He whispers.

The lock clicks and Harry practically knocks him over. He wraps his arms and legs around Louis, resembling a koala by the time he’s settled. It’s been awhile since Harry’s done this, the last time being when his grandmother died two years back, so Louis knows something must be very wrong. He also knows that Harry was a lot shorter and a lot less heavier two years ago, but he doesn’t have the heart to ask the sniveling boy to let go.

Louis walks carefully into Harry’s bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him. It’s changed a lot since Harry first moved in. The blue walls are practically covered in posters and pictures, most of them of Louis, Niall, Zayn, and Liam. But mostly Louis. Louis and Harry at the beach, Louis and Harry at Disneyland in Paris when their mothers decided it was time for a “family vacation” last summer, Louis and Harry at the last showing of Hamlet with Louis still in costume while Harry practically throws the roses he’d bought in the older boys face. Then there are the pictures of them as kids, grinning with their brand new bikes, smiling at birthday parties, summers spent in blow up swimming pools, jumping in rain puddles.

Louis starts to get that familiar melancholy nostalgia he’s been feeling a lot lately. Soon he’ll be off at uni, while Harry stays behind for another two years with Niall. What’s going to happen to them? Will he forget all about his little curly haired Hazza? Louis tells himself that’s impossible but there’s a part of him that knows better.

“Babe, tell me what’s wrong.” Louis whispers, sitting down on the full sized bed that had replaced the race car many years back. Harry looks up and Louis can feel his heart breaking. There is nothing, Louis believes, that’s more heartbreaking than Harry Styles crying. His green eyes are glassy and red, he wipes at his nose with his too long sweater sleeve, and his chest heaves with every breath. Louis tuts softly and brushes his fringe away. “Oh, love.”

Harry leans forward until his head is resting against Louis’ collarbone. “My father called, Louis. Out of nowhere, he just calls tonight. It scared the shit out of mum, you should have seen her face. I’m still not sure how he got the number. He wants me to go to his for Christmas and ‘discuss things’,” Harry practically growls out the last part. “What the  _fuck_  is there to discuss? He abandoned my mother and I at 6, he was horrible to my mother before that. Like, okay Dad, let’s talk about how you used to beat my mum and then decided I wasn’t worth your effort for ten fucking years.”

Louis lets out a long, slow breath, watching Harry try to regain composure. He has no idea how hard it must have been for Harry to go through something like that at so young an age. He reaches forward and tightens his arms around Harry. The last thing he wants is for him to talk to that bastard.

“I don’t want you near him.” Louis growls out. “I don’t want you near him, and I especially don’t want Anne near him. Please tell me you weren’t thinking about it.” He realizes he must sound crazy, trying to keep his best friend from his father, but Harry is so much more than a best friend. Anne is so much more to him than just Harry’s mother. Louis’ not sure he could live through seeing either of them hurt.

Harry sits straight up, shaking his head vehemently. “No! Of course not I just…he called and he still sounds just like he did when I was a kid and I realized we  _sound_  alike Louis. I’m so scared I’ll end up like him,” Harry spits the words out as if they’re poison, and Louis feels his heart drop. How can Harry, sweet, gentle Harry, think he could be anything like his father? “I can get really angry sometimes, just like he used to. I’m scared I’ll hurt the people I love, that I’ll hurt my mum, or if I ever get married or have kids. Or…or you. I’m so scared of hurting you, Louis.” His voice breaks and he cries silently, looking down at where he’s playing with his fingers in his lap.

Louis shakes his head. “No, Harry, no. Sweetheart no you-you are so good, do you hear me? Look at me Harry, right now.” Louis lifts Harry chin gently with two fingers until his younger friend will meet his eyes. Louis takes a deep breath before spilling out everything. “Harry Styles you are nothing but good, do you understand? Sure, you get angry, but everyone gets angry and there’s nothing about you that’s abusive in any sense of the word. You are sweet, caring, and so gentle I sometimes think you might actually be an angel. I love everything about you from your dorky shoes to your crazy curls and if you think even for a moment that you could ever hurt me then you aren’t the Harry Styles I know.

“The Harry Styles I know stands up for his friends, still sleeps with his favorite blanket, spends every Sunday with his Mum and her best friend drinking tea and trading stories like some sort of housewife, and is willing to drive three hours in a rainstorm to pick up his best friends from a party that Zayn really had no right to drag us to.” Harry giggles slightly but Louis keeps going. “My Harry Styles still takes his tea with way too much sugar, secretly loves the color pink, and listens to horrible pretentious underground music while being anything but pretentious. He would never, ever hurt anyone unless he had a very good reason, and he’s had good reasons before. The Harry Styles I know, my best friend, would never lay a hand on anyone he loves. Don’t you dare worry about hurting me, Harry, the only way you could possibly ever hurt me was if you…”

Louis trails off when he realizes he’s gone too far, he was about to say something he’d regret later on. But he already started and the tension in the air is palpable. Harry leans forward and Louis thinks, not for the first time, how unfair it all is. Here’s Harry Styles with his sinfully sweet looks, looking at him with those fucking lips and eyes and it’s just so unfair.

“If I what, Lou?” Harry whispers, and Louis swears he sits forward a bit.

Louis shakes his head. “Nothing, Harry, don’t worry about-” And then Harry’s lips are on his.

Louis isn’t quite sure how he’s gone this long without kissing Harry. He can’t even describe how those soft, full, cherry red lips feel under his own. Instead, he just lets out a very soft moan, and leans forward. For a few blissful moments nothing else matters besides Harry’s fingers in his hair, Harry’s knees pressed against his thighs, Harry’s lips moving under his. That’s until Harry moves back to softly nip at Louis’ newly swollen bottom lip, asking for access. That’s when Louis remembers that this is Harry Styles, his best friend since he was 8, the boy every girl wants to have, the one person he never could have because it would hurt to much to hear the rejection.

The older boy pulls away slowly, leaving Harry practically chasing after him. He stops him with a hand to Harry’s racing heart. Harry opens his eyes slowly and Louis practically groans when he sees his lust blown eyes, leaving only a small sliver of green around the edges.

“Harry, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

Louis closes his eyes. This boy was sent to kill him, he’s sure of it. “You’re my best friend, you’re straight, I have a boyfriend I…we can’t do this Haz.” He opens his eyes again and sees Harry staring at him with the harshest look he can possibly muster. Louis winces. “You have no idea how much I want to let you kiss me, you really don’t. I can’t be an experiment to you. You mean too much to me.”

Harry scoffs, sliding out of Louis’ lap finally. “Is that what you think this is? An ‘experiment’?! Fuck you Louis, okay?”

Louis raises his eyebrows. “Harry, babe I don’t-”

“Don’t call me that,” Harry snaps. “Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? I’ve been in love with you since I was 6 years old, Louis Tomlinson, so don’t sit there and call me your  _babe_. Don’t sit there and use the same words with me as you do everyone else, as you do with Aiden.” He looks like he might start crying again but his jaw is set hard. Harry very rarely gets angry with Louis but when he does it’s ugly.

Feeling helpless, Louis reaches for Harry’s hand. “Harry, please,” He pleads. “I love you. We can’t do this to ourselves.”

Harry nods but for once he doesn’t reach for Louis’ hand, he doesn’t intertwine their fingers. “I think you should go.”

“Hazza-”

“Please leave.”

Louis nods, biting his lip through the tears. He lets himself out of Harry’s home as quietly as he can but by the time he reaches his front door, he’s openly sobbing. He may or may not have just said goodbye to Harry for the last time and he’s not sure he can bear that thought.

“Boobear?” Louis looks up and gasps. His mother is standing on the last step, frowning. “What happened, baby? Was it Aiden?”

Louis shakes his head. “No it’s…it’s Harry. I messed up so bad, Mum, I really did it this time. I think, I just-” Louis doesn’t have to elaborate because Jay is there, pulling him close to her and shushing him gently.

“It’s alright love, I know. I know.”

Louis shakes his head. “I just, I really love him. I love him so much, and I can’t have him.”

Jay lets out a long sigh. She pecks Louis lightly on the forehead and goes back to coddling him. “I know baby, it’s alright. It’ll be alright.” Louis just wraps his arms around her neck and lets her hold him until he stops crying.

 

_Louis is 18 and Harry is 16._

Things have been awkward in the eight months after the kiss but it eventually dies down. The other boys seem to sense something is wrong but they don’t say anything, and soon Harry and Louis are back to being best friends. Sure, they have awkward pauses where they both know what the other is thinking, and sure maybe Harry has his own secret celebration when Louis and Aiden break up in March, but they don’t mention the kiss again.

Louis, Zayn, and Liam are all preparing for uni. Zayn and Liam are both going to London, they’ve even saved up enough to get their own small flat near their school. Originally it was going to be Liam, Zayn, and Louis all together in London, until that Spring when Louis got a letter from NYU telling him he’s received a full scholarship to their acting program. The boys celebrated by getting fantastically drunk until Louis was left in a corner crying because he’s going to New York City. He’s leaving everyone he’s ever known, included his mother and his Hazza. There are days when he’s sure he won’t be able to do it.

But it’s the end of August now, and Louis has to leave. All of his things have been packed up and sent, his childhood room is practically bare, and he’s left with one carry on consisting of a few sets of clothes and numerous pictures. There’s no turning back now, and sure he’s excited, but every time he thinks of seeing all the sights he imagines Harry there beside him, curls bouncing, grinning and pointing with the lights reflecting back in his eyes.

Everyone comes to see him off, the boys, including Harry, and Anne, as well as a very emotional Jay. They each say a tearful goodbye at the airport, Liam reminding him to call at any time and at least once a day, Zayn clapping him hard on the back telling him to get proper fucked up his first night, and Niall almost refusing to let go while he hugs Louis and wets his shoulder with tears. Anne is next, whispering in his ear how proud she is of him, how he’s grown up, and how she’ll take care of Jay for him.

Jay holds him so tightly he thinks he might suffocate. Louis’s so scared to leave his Mum. Ever since his father died he’s been taking care of his mother and protecting her, but he’ll be the first to admit he’s a momma’s boy. He isn’t sure how he’s going to make it without her waking him up in the mornings with breakfast and a goodbye kiss, or how she’ll go on with him reminding her of doctors appointments and doing the laundry.

“I love you. I could not be prouder of you Louis. You deserve this, don’t you feel guilty for a second, alright? And don’t lie, because I can see it in your eyes.” Louis nods, squeezing his eyes shut. Jay sighs and kisses his forehead. “You’re going to do so, so well. Call me everyday and keep me updated, alright?”

“I love you Mum,” He whispers in her ear. “I’ll miss you so much.”

Jay smiles. “I’ll miss you more, love. Now go say goodbye to Harry, you’re going to miss your flight.”

Louis pulls back and looks over at Harry. He’s so much taller now, shooting up well past Louis, he’s lost most of his baby fat but he still has those chubby cheeks Louis loves so much. His curls seem bouncier lately, softer, and Louis’s going to miss running his fingers through them. He’s going to miss waking up knowing he only has to walk a few feet to see his best friend, he’s going to miss knowing there’s someone other than his mother that’s going to love him always and unconditionally. Louis is going to miss his Harry so much.

“Hazza.”

That’s all it takes for Harry to wrap his arms around Louis tightly. Louis buries his nose in Harry’s curls and almost laughs. He still smells the same, after all these years he’s still just little Harry Styles from across the road with his stupid blanket and Louis’s still just that enthusiastic, light up shoe wearing child that just wants Harry to like him.

“I love you Louis,” Harry chokes out. “Oh god, I love you so much.”

Louis kisses Harry’s scalp and nods. “I love you too. You’ll always be my best friend, remember that okay? You can call me any time you want, I’ll be there for you. I love you.”

Harry steps back, wiping at his eyes and sniffling. He smiles softly. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

Louis laughs, reaching forward to brush Harry’s curls away from his eyes. “Yeah. I’ll see you soon.”

 

_Louis is 20 and Harry is 18._

They haven’t seen each other face to face in almost five months. Louis finds this unacceptable.

He’s in the middle of finals at school, it’s his second year at NYU and he loves being in New York. He loves the charge of creative energy he gets every time he walks out the door, he loves walking around late at night downtown when it’s quiet and he can just take in the atmosphere of it all. He loves going to broadway shows, he loves clubbing, he loves working as an usher, he loves New York, but he loves Harry more.

Sure, there have been other boys on and off for the past two years, and he knows Harry is dating as well back home, mostly girls though he swore Niall mentioned a guy once on the phone. And of course it hurts thinking about Harry being with someone else, but they can’t do that to themselves. They’re thousands of miles and an ocean away from each other, they’re best friends, and they just can’t. It would hurt too much. Or at least that’s what Louis has been trying to convince himself.

Louis’s walking back to his dorm after a late study session. His roommate finished his last final the day before and has already gone back home to Missouri, wishing Louis a good summer break, leaving the small room all to himself. He picks up chinese takeaway quickly before heading up to his dorm in Gramercy. He plans on spending the rest of his night cramming for his last final tomorrow and packing his things up.

He’s already found a flat downtown where he plans on staying next year, though he’s still advertising for a flatmate. Louis has no intentions of going home this summer for more than a few weeks and to be honest, that hurts him a little, but that’s just what growing up is he guesses. Slowly letting go.

Louis fumbles with his key a bit, it still sticks even after he repeatedly complained to his RA and had it supposedly “fixed”, and kicks the door open with a curse. He makes it to the small kitchenette and is in the process of opening the takeaway when he notices all the lights are on.

“Jeez, Lou, New Yorkers really do live in their own little worlds, huh?”

Louis yelps and spins around. There, sitting on his bed with a shit-eating, dimpled grin, is none other than Harry Styles. Louis gasps and shoots forward, throwing his arms around the younger boy who catches him.

“Harry! What are you doing here? How did you get in my room? How did you get here-”

Harry stops him, pressing his finger to the older boys lips. “Not now. Give me a proper cuddle first, I’ve been missing my Boobear.” Louis can’t help his smile. He wraps his arms around Harry’s neck and sinks down against him. Harry sighs softly and squeezes back just as tightly, closing his eyes and just letting himself enjoy this moment. Louis giggles softly and kisses the side of Harry’s head.

“What’s my little Hazza doing in the big city?” Louis asks.

Harry shrugs. “I’ve been saving up for awhile,” He reveals. “And…I have something to tell you.” Louis pulls back a bit and frowns. He brushes Harry’s fringe away, it’s a reflex by now. Harry grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers.

“What is it?”

Harry bites at his lip. “I just…first let me say something. You can’t interrupt, got it?” Louis nods. Harry nods as well, before letting out a long sigh. He spent the entire trip here planning this speech in his head and he hopes to god it works.

“Louis Tomlinson, I love you more than anything in this world. I have loved you since I was six years old and everyday since then I’ve only grown to love you more. I love your smile, when your eyes crinkle and your nose scrunches up, I love that you’re smaller than me even though you hate it, I love your eyes and I think that’s why my favorite color has always been blue. I love how much you care for you friends, how much your care for our Mums, how much you care for me. I love how you never wear socks and how you hate they way I take my tea. I love watching you on stage, you’re an amazing actor Lou, you’re going to go so far. I love…that you trusted me enough to come out to me first, that I’m lucky enough to be the one you call your best friend. Louis, I love you more than words can even express and this is getting far too long and sappy and I know you’re trying not to roll your eyes right now, but I need you Louis.

“I need you to say you love me too. I need you to tell me you want to kiss me again and that you want it to be me you wake up with every morning. I need you to say you want to be with me too because I’m not sure how I can go on without you. And I know that you said we couldn’t because we’re best friends but I think that that’s why we can, Louis, because I can’t imagine a life without being able to hold my best friend at night or kiss you in the mornings when I make you breakfast and you give me that little smile. You know me better than anyone else and I think that’s why this would work. And I know I’m scared of hurting you and I know you’re scared of what this might do to us but…can’t we be scared together, Lou?”

Louis is speechless. He isn’t sure what he’s supposed to say to Harry spilling his heart out like that. So, before he can let himself over think it, he goes with his heart and nods. “Yes. Yes, Harry. Oh my god, yes.” He can hardly see past the tears in his eyes, and he knows there’s a high chance that this is going to end badly, but he can’t do it anymore. Louis can’t go on living and pretending like he doesn’t want Harry.

Harry, who is now kissing Louis as if his life depends on it, twisting his hands in the smaller boy’s hair and letting his tongue slip out to run over the thinner lips underneath his own. Louis can’t stop smiling and he can’t stop crying, but it doesn’t matter because Harry is here and they’re kissing and it’s perfect.

“I can’t believe this.” Louis breathes out.

Harry grins and presses their noses together. “Well start believing it because what I really came to tell you is I’ve been accepted to Columbia and I have no intentions of dorming.”

Louis’ eyes light up. “Columbia?” He asks. Harry looks down bashfully. “Really? Harry, I’m so proud of you!” He means it too. He knows how hard Harry works for his grades and how much this must mean to him. Columbia is an incredibly hard school to get in to, but of course Harry could do it. Louis never would have doubted that for a second.

“Yeah, and I was hoping my best friend might have an extra room…or maybe just a big bed.” Harry says, blushing.

Louis’ cheeks hurt at this point from all the grinning he’s doing. He cards his hand through the younger boys curls and kisses him gently. “Anything for my always friend.”

Harry grins. “Shutup Louis.”

 

_Louis is 27 and Harry is 25._

Today is the day Harry graduates from Columbia. It’s been 7 long, stressful years, but he’s done it. And Louis was at his side the entire time. Louis, who is currently playing the titular role of Macbeth on Broadway, Louis who is currently missing a matinee performance of said play for his boyfriend’s graduation. Louis who is bouncing his knee up and down nervously as he waits for them to call Harry’s name.

“Louis, breathe, okay?” Liam whispers in his ear. Louis nods, stopping his jumping knee and reaching into his pocket to let his fingers brush over the box there. He looks down his row and smiles. Anne and Jay are both trying to hide tears as they watch the other students receive their diplomas, Niall who hasn’t stopped crying since Louis showed him the ring, and Zayn who’s winking at a girl sitting in front of them.

“That’s not fair at all and you know it.” Louis hisses in Zayn’s ear.

Zayn just grins. “I bet she wants an autograph. She’s cute, I’d gladly give it to her.” Louis rolls his eyes. It turned out Zayn, along with Niall, did in fact have the X-Factor, which he teases Louis about to this day, and which resulted in two platinum albums and a second world tour beginning in a few weeks.

Liam, of course, turned out to be the sensible one, working hard his first year or so of college and transferring to Oxford. He’s on his way to becoming some sort of scientist whose name no one can pronounce, but it makes him happy so the boys are happy too.

“Wait, wait, shh, this is him.” Louis shushes everyone needlessly and grabs onto Liam and Zayn’s arms. He watches in silence as the speaker calls the name he’s been waiting to hear.

Harry walks across the stage, beaming through as he looks out onto the crowd. Louis doesn’t think he’s ever felt this proud of anyone in his life.

“Yeah, Styles!” Niall cheers through his incessant crying.

“Get it Curly!” Zayn cheers.

Everyone’s clapping now, though Louis is sure Zayn and Niall will be on the cover of some tabloid for that by tomorrow, and Harry is accepting his diploma and searching around. He locks eyes with Louis and his grin grows even wider, his dimples deepening.

 _I love you_ , Louis mouths. Harry waves one last time, before exiting the stage. Louis lets his hand slip back into his pocket so he can hold the ring box one more time. Soon they’ll go meet up with Harry, they’ll all congratulate him one by one, take pictures, cry, and joke. And then it’ll come to Louis, who will get down on one knee and propose.

And Harry will say yes.

 

_Louis is 35 and Harry is 33._

It’s their daughter’s first day of school and Louis isn’t sure if he’s okay. He isn’t sure if he’s even breathing really. He watches on as Harry puts Emma’s dark hair up in two little ribboned pigtails. When they decided they were going to adopt Harry said he didn’t care either way but Louis knew he’s secretly always wanted a little girl to dote on. It was a long and hard process but they finally got their little girl and never looked back.

“Do I look pretty, Daddy?” Emma asks, skipping over to Louis. She grabs her father’s hands, and starts dancing and giggling happily.

Louis nods, trying to hold himself together. “You look beautiful princess.” He whispers. And he means it, his daughter is the most beautiful little girl he has ever laid eyes on, and she’s practically a grown up now.

“Boobear, breathe,” Harry says softly. He walks over, pressing a hand against Louis’ lower back. “It’s just preschool, it’s not like we’re sending her off to college.”

Louis’ eyes widen and he looks over to his husband in horror. “Oh god, Harry, we’re going to have to send her off to uni one day!” His voice is practically broken at this point, imagining Emma at 18, going off to university where she’ll be without her fathers, and where there would be  _boys_.

Harry raises an eyebrow. “Lou. She’s six. I don’t think we need to be worried about uni right now, okay?” He waits until Louis nods before reaching for his phone. “Em, babe, come let me take a picture for your grandmas and your uncles.”

Emma comes dancing back over to her fathers, blue eyes sparkling as she grins. “Papa, where’s Uncle Zayn and Uncle Niall today?” She asks.

Harry smiles. “Sweden sweetie, we told you that, remember? But we’re going to send them a picture anyway so they won’t miss it. And Grandma Anne and Grandma Jay too, alright?”

Harry and Louis moved back to England after university, finding a flat in London. As much as they loved New York it was so hard to be away from their families and they just couldn’t do it any longer. Louis ended up becoming a relatively well known actor turned director, working at theaters and shows on the West End, while Harry used his law degree to open his own practice.

Zayn and Niall are still going at it, though they’re not so much focused on breaking hearts and chasing girls as they are the music. After they all attended Liam’s wedding about three years ago to Danielle, where Emma was the flower girl, the two of them decided maybe it was time to slow down.

“I’m gonna tell everyone that they’re my uncles and they’re gonna be so jealous.” Emma says, deviously. “And then they’ll all want to be my friends.”

Louis has to stifle a laugh. “Sweetheart, we don’t brag, what have I told you?” He chides.

Emma sighs. “I was just kidding Daddy!” She says, crossing her arms. Jay says she reminds her of Louis when he was younger, and Harry definitely sees it even if Louis insists otherwise. “Come on, we’re gonna be late!”

The three of them walk hand and hand to Emma’s new school which is only a few blocks away. Emma chats the whole way, skipping every few steps, and grinning up at her fathers. It all seems a bit silly now, all the worrying they’d done as kids and as teenagers, but maybe it was necessary to get them where they are now. And sure, maybe Harry still can’t discipline Emma as much because he’s scared of becoming his father, and maybe Louis has to pinch himself every morning to remind himself that this is real, but they’re happy and when it comes down to it, that’s all they ever wanted.

Emma looks around her new classroom warily. She practically attaches herself to Harry’s leg, watching the other kids run around playing with one another. “Papa, I don’t think I wanna go anymore.” She says softly. “I think I just wanna go home with you and Daddy and watch a movie.”

Harry and Louis share a look, before Harry crouches down next to her. “Hey, Emma, listen to me okay? Have I ever told you how I met Daddy?” Emma nods, her curls bouncing. “Well, if Daddy hadn’t been very brave then we never would have met, would we? So, you have to be very brave because I bet there’s a little boy or girl in there that’s very lonely and could use a best friend just like my little Emma, but how will you know if you don’t try?”

Emma sighs, before nodding. “Okay Papa, I can be brave.” She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tight. Harry stands back up and squeezes her back, before passing her along to Louis. “I love you Daddy.”

Louis doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to hearing that. He smiles, holding her close for a few last moments. “I love you too, beautiful. Go make us proud, okay?”

She nods, gives Louis a kiss on the cheek, and scrambles back down. After straightening her little dress, which is striped of course, she waltzes into the room and looks around. Harry wraps an arm around Louis’ waist and sighs into his ear.

“Babe, she’s so grown up.” He murmurs.

“I’m supposed to be the over emotional one here, remember?” Louis teases, but he squeezes Harry back anyway. He leans his head down on his husbands shoulder and sighs, watching his daughter walk through the room until she stops in front of a boy a little shorter than her with big brown eyes and a blanket clutched to his chest.

“Hello, I’m Emma Tomlinson-Styles and I’m six years old.” She says, and she holds her hand out just like Louis taught her.

The little boy looks at her hand warily, but eventually shakes it back. “My name’s Gavin, I’m five.”

Louis stills when he realizes what’s just happened. “Oh no. Harry,  _no_.” He whispers. “She’s too young for boys. She’s too young to do that to me.”

Harry just smiles. “Calm down, I doubt they’ll get married, love.”

Louis scowls, poking one of Harry’s dimples playfully. “You are not funny.”

With that, he leads his reluctant husband away from the classroom.

They walk home in silence, still holding onto each other even though it makes it a bit hard to walk. When they get to their door, Louis stops him with a kiss and a tug of his still curly hair. Not much has changed about the two of them, save for a few small tattoos and laugh lines. Harry’s still just tall enough to rest his chin on Louis’ head if he stretches, he still secretly loves the color pink, he still puts way too much sugar in his tea. Louis’s still just as sassy as he ever was, he still hates socks, and still takes care of his mother. They’re still Louis and Harry, best friends, lovers, and now, husbands and fathers. And of course, they’ll always love each other.

After all, they always have.


End file.
